Break It Down
by MangaFreak15
Summary: AU: Lavi bets Kanda that he can't bed the new kid, Allen, by the end of the month. Kanda disagrees. Yullen


**Warning: OOC? Hopefully not. BAD LANGUAGE, VERY BAD BAD BAD LANGUAGE.**

**Summary: **Lavi bets Kanda that he can't bed the new kid by the end of the month. Kanda disagrees. Yullen

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**Break It Down**

**Day 1 – The Bet of Doom**

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Raucous laughter rang through the hallway, causing many curious students to turn their heads towards the source of the noise. They were not entirely surprised to see a particular pair of students messing around with each other – well, more like one of them, the redhead, was joking while the other seemed to be threatening to maim him. At one point he even shoved him up against the cold metal lockers and hissed through his teeth that the other would be missing a mouth if he ever called him by his first name again.

"But Yuu," sang Lavi, uncaring of the deadly threats hurled at him faster than a rifle on steroids, "I'm your best friend! I reserve the right to call you –"

"Shut the fuck up, _baka usagi_!" roared the charcoal-haired student slamming him against the lockers. "Don't call me that name!"

The redhead just smiled a million-watt smile at the other student and slyly asked, "Why? Do you want me to scream it?"

"I do not want you to say it at all," snarled Kanda, punching the locker beside Lavi's head.

Lavi chuckled and pushed the other away. "Hey, man, no need to get violent. You need to chillax!" Kanda punched him angrily. "Ow! What was that for, Yuu –"

"Shut your fucking trap before I slice off all your hair."

"No way! You can't touch this sexy hair!" exclaimed the redhead. "Oh, but you wouldn't hurt me anyway, Yuu! You love my sexy-licious self too much!"

Kanda flipped him the bird and stalked away furiously, a black aura cloud of death, destruction and pure _menace_ trailing around him and causing other students to quickly scuttle out of the way before they became victims.

"Kanda!" he heard someone call out to him, but he was in no mood to hear what the other person had to say. A hand settling on his shoulder stopped him from walking away, and only his unique sense of morality prevented him from severely injuring the other person for so much as touching him.

"_What,_ Lenalee?" he growled.

The dark-haired Asian girl flashed a small smile to him. "The Headmaster wants to see you, Kanda. You'll be showing our new student around," she said.

Kanda almost exploded.

"That fucker wants me to do _what?"_ he demanded. "I'm not going to show some rookie dickwad around. It's not worth my time."

Lenalee rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Nothing but your precious sword is worth your time," she intoned dryly. "And please refrain from calling my brother a – excuse me – a _fucker."_

"I'll call that dipshit brother of yours whatever I want," retorted Kanda. "Now let go of me."

"No, you're coming with me," said Lenalee firmly, gripping Kanda's arm tightly and attempting to drag him to the Headmaster's office. Kanda refused to budge an inch, so Lenalee resorted to darker methods. "Kanda, if you don't come with me right now I'll tell my brother you tried to rape me."

Kanda grudgingly complied, unwilling to face the unholy wrath of Komui Lee when he was on a Get-the-Damn-Octopus-as-Revenge-For-Lenalee rampage. Lenalee smiled when he didn't protest walking with her – goddamn deceptive bitch that she was – and took him to the Headmaster's office.

"Nii-san, Kanda's here like you asked!" she said happily to the tall man in a white lab coat.

"Lenalee, you're back!" Said girl sighed when the man, her older brother, shot up from his seat and gave her a bone-crushing hug while gushing giant streams of crocodile tears. "That octopus didn't touch you, did he? Kanda! Stay away from – ouch!"

"Nii-san, you _told_ me to go and get Kanda," Lenalee said, cautiously eyeing the vaguely twitching Kanda, whose left eye seemed to have developed a small tick in the short expanse of time.

"Ah, that's right," Komui said, remembering why he had called Kanda in the first place. He stuck his head into the doorway leading to a small adjacent room that served as Komui's private lounge (but also led to his lab). "Allen! Your guide's here now."

"Oh, thank you, Headmaster." Kanda seemed to twitch even more when he heard how disgustingly polite the voice of the new student was.

Lenalee and Kanda both turned to look at who was going to be their new schoolmate. Needless to say, even Kanda was surprised by the overall oddball look of the new student.

A vertically-challenged boy stepped quietly into the room, his curious silvery-gray eyes alighting on the sight of them. His chin-length hair was a shocking mass of bleach-white, which led Kanda to assume the kid had dyed it in the attempt to look more attractive. There was a strange pink scar cutting a vicious path down the left side of his face, which began with a pentagram above his eyebrow and leading into a half-hook, half-lightning bolt shape that curved the length of his pale cheek. A small horizontal slash crossed it underneath his eye. He wore a plain white dress shirt with long sleeves, white gloves, and black slacks. The sneakers adorning his feet were slightly worn, but otherwise in relatively good condition. Overall Kanda could not think of anything else to say except . . .

"Moyashi."

The room's occupants blinked.

"Excuse me?" asked Allen tentatively. "What did you just say?"

Kanda snorted and turned away. "I'm calling you Moyashi from now on, because you look like a beansprout," he huffed.

"B-b-beansprout?" Allen stammered. "I'm not a beansprout!"

"Kanda, that wasn't very nice," admonished Lenalee in a tone of disapproval. "His name's Allen."

"His name is _Moyashi_, and that's final," Kanda snarled. "Let's just hurry the fuck up and get this stupid thing over with so I can get back to my life."

"My word, aren't you a rude one?" said Allen with a frown. Kanda sneered at him.

"Just shut the hell up and follow me."

Lenalee took a step back when a dark look crossed the new student's face one moment; though it was gone the next and he appeared to be wearing the same innocent smile.

"Your name is Kanda, I presume?" he asked, taking a step towards the furious student in the the doorway. "Well, _Bakanda,_ you should be more polite to your classmates."

Kanda turned around so fast at the mention of his new nickname that Lenalee could have sworn he got whiplash. "What did you call me?" he hissed, acting like an offended little kitten with its hackles raised.

Allen smirked at him. "Oh, nothing, _Bakanda,"_ he said cheerily, and with a deceptively innocent voice and face plastered on.

Kanda's eyes flashed with smoldering fury. "Do you want your fucking guts cut out, brat?" he growled.

Allen's smirk grew wider when he realized Kanda was falling for his trap, hook, line, and sinker. He had extremely acute hearing, so while the others couldn't hear the quick-paced footsteps outside in the hall, he certainly could. He edged around the room, keeping his innocent face firmly in place, and stationing Kanda right beside the door leading out of the office.

"Why, that'd be an honor," he teased. "Are you planning to string them up on the wall?"

"I'd love to see your fucking chain of intestines nailed to my wall so I can remember how to kill beansprouts."

Closer, closer . . .

Allen spoke up just before he was sure the door was going to open. "Dear Lord, does this mean you're a . . . a _fag?_" he gasped fakely, covering his mouth to prevent the snickers he was sure were going to come out.

Kanda snapped. He leaped forward with a furious roar of rage –

_BAM!_

Poor Kanda never stood a chance against the door. It banged open unexpectedly, smashing Kanda into the wall with a sickening crunch. Lavi burst into the room with a joyful cry of "Yuu! Never fear, your best friend is here! – Where is he, by the way?"

Allen couldn't keep it in. He busted out laughing, much to Lenalee's chagrin and Komui's amusement. Lavi felt an aura blacker than the deepest pits of hell flare up behind the door. Quickly he swung the door back from the wall, and was surprised to find Kanda smashed into the wall, holding a profusely bleeding nose and glaring daggers at the giggling albino.

"_Boyashi,"_ he muttered thickly as he tried to stem his bloody nose. "When I get better, I'b going to fukkin kill you!"

"Yuu! How come you have a bloody nose?" cried Lavi. "Did you peek into some hot chick's bosom and get an eyeful of her tits – OUCH!"

"That's too much information, Lavi," said Lenalee. "Since Kanda is a bit indisposed due to Allen's . . . prank, would you show him around instead, please?"

Lavi rubbed his head where Lenalee smacked him and glanced over to the smiling white-haired boy. He bounced over, grabbed the other boy's right hand, and shook it vigorously, nearly shaking the poor boy's arm off. "Yo! My name's Lavi. What's yours, cutie? I can see why Yuu has a bloody nose. Maybe he's got the hots for you!" he exclaimed. "Are you his new boyfriend?"

Allen blushed so red that a tomato would be jealous. "B-b-b-b-boyfriend –" he stuttered wildly, wrenching his hand away to bury his crimson face. "Dear Lord, you're going to give me a heart attack!"

Lavi grinned. "Well, let's go then, sexy pants –" At this he smacked Allen's ass playfully, nearly making the boy shriek in terror "– because we've got lotsa ground to cover!"

Allen gave Komui a pitiful glance before he was dragged out the door, his fate now resting in the hands of a crazy, hormonal rabbit.

_Save meeeeeee!_ he screamed mentally.

Of course no one heard him.

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A few hours later when everyone was leaving the school to go back to their homes, Lavi cornered Kanda in the hallway by his locker.

"Hey, Yuu!" he called loudly.

"What do you want, Cyclops?" Kanda asked angrily.

Lavi leaned against a nearby locker. "I liked that new kid, Allen," he said. "I want to make a bet with you. If I win, I get to call you 'Yuu' for the rest of your life."

"I'm not making any deals with you, baka usagi," said Kanda, turning his attention back to his bag, which he was stuffing his homework into.

"Come on! It's just a harmless little bet," whined Lavi. "I didn't know you were such a wimp, Yuu."

Kanda withheld the urge to throttle the stupid grinning redhead. "Fine," he hissed through gritted teeth. "What's this stupid fucking bet of yours?"

Lavi smirked at him. "I bet you can't get Allen into your bed by the end of the month," he announced boldly.

"Why the hell would I want to fuck that bastard beansprout?" Kanda exploded.

"Hey, it's just a bet, but if you back out, you're a wimp," sang Lavi.

Kanda snarled loudly and lobbed his Calculus textbook at the redhead, hitting him square in the face. "God-fucking-damn it! If I win, you will buy my lunch every day for the rest of the year and stop calling me by my first name! But if you make me lose, you will regret the day you were born," he threatened, his eyes promising a very painful, slow, and torturous death.

Lavi chuckled. "Sure thing, Yuu," he said airily, tossing the textbook back to the fuming Japanese teenager. "Remember, you only have one month, so you better get started! Give him some roses tomorrow or something. Ciao!"

He ran away quickly before Kanda decided to throw his whole locker at him.

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**Well. That went better than expected. Of course, I'm procrastinating on homework right now. I just totally felt like writing this, because I've fallen in love with the DGM fandom right now, soooo all my other stories that are not discontinued or completed, such as **_**Wanton Faith, the Shikon's Mistake,**_** and**_** Sun Boy**_**, will be on indefinite hiatus until I decide what to do with them (I'm on a mega-huge writer's block for all three of them since I'm so BORED with Inuyasha and Naruto, like, I'm not even kidding).**

**Baka usagi – idiot rabbit**

**Moyashi – beansprout**

**Bakanda – baka + Kanda**

**Nii-san - older brother**

**This is my first DGM fanfic, so if you review, that'd be nice. I hope to write the next chapter to this soon!**

**MangaFreak15**


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